A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?'

The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'

Hat tip to cousin Patti.

Amazon has a new program called Amazon Prime that give free 2-day shipping. And I'm playing $30 for shipping because I live across the border? This is crazy!

WTF just happened at Amazon? I went to buy some DVDs and books there. They are asking for $28 in shipping and handling on $125 in merchandise. I understand that I don't qualify for the free shipping, but $28 is ridiculous.

Finally a contender for President that I can actually vote for.

Some lesson today in how to get people to ignore you and not get what you want. These are excerpts from an email I received from somebody trying to get me to do stuff for them.

• How juvenile are you?
• Common Randy aren't you smart enough to figure that out?
• So PLEASE be uncomfortable
• So if you think you have come across someone that does not know her business, does not know the law and does not know what can be done to get you to stop, you have made a HUGE mistake.

Do you think I'm going to respond? Or bother reading any of their emails in the future?  Of course not. They just found my kill file. Conclusion: This would be how not to deal with people.

Last night, I scooped up HelloSanta.org. Got another website to work on before Christmas.

When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day [even if retired you have those sometimes] try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand..

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. ' Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

We've been on vacation on the East coast for the last month. You can follow our travels on the RVDad blog. We forgot my shaver. My wife doesn't usually let my beard get too long before forcing me to shave. This time, I had an excuse. And no haircut in quite a few months. I started to look horrible before I got a haircut and beard trim. Here's the before.

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun,
          goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
          and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in
          for traumatized students and teachers. 
Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.
          Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
          Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
 
Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
          Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
          Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state
          because Jeffrey has a disability.
 
Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
          goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. 
          Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. 
          State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
          being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. 
          Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
 
Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.
          Car searched for drugs and weapons. 
Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.
          Newspaper articles appear nationally
          explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.
          ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system
          and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. 
          Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up
          mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. 
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called.
          Johnny charged with  domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents,
          siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,
          Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list
          and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
          She faces 3 years in State Prison. 
          Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Anybody have recommendations on splicing video on Windows? I tried Movie Maker, but it hangs and hangs more. In particular, I'm trying to splice 3G2 files.

This is the 2nd time in a year that someone who owes me money says net-60 days, actually the other was net-75 days. This means they pay 60 days after the earnings are earned. In most case, the earnings are from a monthly period, so in fact, you are getting paid 90 days later for earnings on the first of the month, 89 days later for earnings on the 2nd of the month, etc. And after waiting 90 days, you find out they are late with the payment. They had 90 days to pay me and they couldn't do it. Their clients, like me, get pissed and this affects their work. In turn, this affects their co-workers. It's stupidity like this that causes these companies to drop in productivity.

Then I find out that accounts payable didn't receive my invoice because some guy forgot to do his job. I yell and one week later I have a cheque. In other words, they can cut a cheque on the spot. The 90 days is just to piss you off. If you are paying people more than net-45 days, then you likely have a lot of clients who would rather work for someone else.

Yet again, I'm unemployed. I just finished a broken 15 month stint with NBC. I could write a book about this experience and it would be most entertaining. I sold them r-mail.org two years ago, which we converted to sendmerss.com. I'm making enough from other websites I created like talk-sports.net that I don't have to worry about getting a job near-term.

Here he is...

The world got you down? Try YouTube.

The U.S. Supreme Court has rules that not enough stupid Americans have died from handguns. This is on the back of a report that suggests that killing more stupid Americans with handguns would be an effective way of increasing the average income in the country and bring the country out of their current recession. Especially in Washington, where the stupid politicians who wrote this obsolete amendment and refuse to revoke it, make those stupid decisions. All the power to the future Columbines. YOU IDIOTS!

This is funny. Mostly because we all know it's very close to reality. I worked for 10 years in the corporate world and most geeks were trying to maximize the amount of time they played their favorite 3rd-person video game. Every email is ignored. Knee jerk reactions compound every problem. Nobody really cares until their boss is watching over their shoulder. Must view.

http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/ (source)

More and more, I find people use incompetence as a crutch. They act stupid when trivial problems arise causing enormous amounts of frustration and extra work for their co-workers. The co-workers end up working all night while the root cause leaves early for the extra-long weekend. He's too incompetent to help anyway.

Today was my son's second game in his summer hockey league. He's 7 yrs-old, playing with 8-11 yr-olds. The coach is super competitive. He puts his oldest-biggest kids on the 1st line and the youngest-smallest on the 3rd line. Then, he short shifts the 3rd line. In the 1st two games, my son played considerably less than 1/3 of the game. There's only 13-14 kids on a team, including the goalie, so there is absolutely no reason why any kid would play less than 10 of the 30 minutes. Two weeks ago, after the first game, I complained to the league. This week, I talked to the coach after the game. Late in the game, the score was 2-1 for the other team and the coach pulled my son's line after 41 seconds, even though every shift all game was 80-200 seconds. The bigger kids getting closer to 200 and the smaller kids closer to 80. This enabled him to get the strongest line some extra ice-time thoughout the game and especially at the end of the game. I tried to explain to him how this was no fair to the younger kids and he actually disagreed.

Today, I watched the movie The Rookie. I'm not a big movie watcher, but I usually like to watch sport movies. Oddly, I hadn't seen this one, even though it's 6+ years old. It was great! I'm 39, with a sports enthused 7-year-old son and dreamed of playing the majors when I was a kid, so there was lot's of strings for this movie to pull on me. I guess this movie was about me, except that I throw 96 kph instead of mph (miles per hour). This movie has made my regular rotation, so if I see it in the TV guide, then I'll watch it again. It's right up there with Fields of Dreams, The Natural and For Love of the Game.

http://www.rumorstore.com/shopping.aspx/B000068DBE

When you don't handle your problems, they inevitably snowball on you. For instance, if you have problem employees and you don't straighten them out, then others that work with the problem employee take notice. They realize, they can behave inappropriately as well and need not worry about getting fired. As well, your good employees will become frustrated with having to fix the problems created by the bad ones. Eventually, all your good employees quit and you are left with all bad employees.

The problem is easily rectified. Fire one bad employee and you'll notice an improvement in everybody else. Your good employees will feel like you are helping them and your bad employees may decide to become good employees fearing the axe.

It's about being good managers. Unfortunately these days, most managers have never taken a management course and simply don't know any better.

The problem isn't the person that does a lazy and crappy job. The problem is the person who knows they are doing a lazy and crappy job and doesn't do anything about it.

In the last couple years, I've noticed more and more people tend to hug the right side of their lane when they are turning left. I often feel, they don't want people to sneak thru on the right while they are waiting for traffic to clear. Either that, or they are simply stupid. Large trucks need to make large turns, but cars don't. I can see them push slightly right before the turn and I'm quite certain their intent is to block people from passing between them and the right curb. It's a very pathetic move. I don't know if they are simply trying to be a-holes, stupid or fear people passing them on the right when they are turning left. Whatever it is, I'm not impressed.

If you haven't looked at the address bar, then here's a surprise for you. I just moved the blog to its own domain and a brand new web-server. I'm still working out the bugs caused by the move. If you stumble into any problems, then send me an email and I'll fix ASAP.

The new web-server is a dedicated Windows server from Go Daddy! I've been so impressed with Go Daddy's domain administration, that I'm also buying dedicated servers from them now. The setup of the box was ridiculously tight. ASPX was disabled. Write access to the Inetpub from the ASP user was also disabled. But, it works!

http://www.ibt4im.com/

I use to follow American politics, but of late, it's all turned into a big joke. Here we have the most hated presidential administration in the history of America and they look 50-50 to get re-elected with their new candidate. It's not because Americans want to vote for the Republicans, it's more that the Democrats have proved themselves to be pathetic. At this point, I'm ready to put my money on McCain. I'm most convinced of this when I read liberal blogs.

Do you realize how many of McCain's fund raising team have quit because they did things that compromised the campaign? Remember Larry Craig? The hand under the bathroom stall guy? This guy was an early McCain lobbyist and backer. Now we're finding out a bunch of McCain advisers are quitting because ... well ... McCain has long promised not to have lobbyist on this team. You'd think the advisers would've know McCains stance before they joined ... but then ... we already new the Republicans stood for deception. And this guy stands a change of winning? Why?

Because Obama and Hillary are bigger jokers yet!