In  your 20's: Stop what you are doing.  Shave, take a  shower, blow dry your hair, Brush your teeth, floss, and put on  clean clothes.  Check yourself in The mirror and flex.   Add a dab of your favourite cologne because You never know, you just  might meet some hot chick while standing in The checkout lane.   And you went to school with the pretty girl running The register.

  In your 30's:  Stop what you are doing,  put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change Shoes. You married the  hot chick so no need for much else.  Wash your Hands And comb your hair.  Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got  it.  Add A shot of your favourite cologne to cover the  smell.  The cute girl Running the register is the kid sister to  someone you went to school With.

  In your 40's: Stop what you are doing.  Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to Cover the hole in the  crotch of your shorts.  Put on different Shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.  Your bottle of Brute Cologne is Almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than Flexing.  The spicy young thing running the register is your  daughter's Age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

   In your  50's: Stop what you are doing.  Put a hat on, wipe  the dirt off your hands Onto your shirt.  Change shoes because  you don't want to get dog Doo-doo in your new sports  car.  Check yourself in the mirror and you Swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.  The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think You still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is  from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got   Worms  .'

   In your 60's: Stop what you are doing.  No need for a hat anymore.  Hose the  dog Doo-doo off your shoes.  The mirror was shattered when  you were in Your 50's.  You hope you have underwear on so  nothing hangs out the Hole in your pants. The girl running the  register may be cute, but you Don't have your glasses on so  you are not sure.

  In your  70's: Stop what you are doing.  Wait to go  to Home Depot until the drug store Has your  prescriptions ready, too.  Don't even notice the dog Doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you Because you remind her of her  grandfather.

  In your  80's: Stop what you are doing.  Start  again.  Then stop again.  Now you Remember you needed  to go to Home Depot.  Go to   Wal-Mart instead And wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.   Fart Out loud and you think someone called out your  name.   You went to School with the old lady who greeted  you at the front door.

   In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe?  Something for my garden?  Where am I?  Who am I? Why am I reading this?  Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?